Research suggests that the parent-child relationship is THE KEY to cognitive training and executive function development. Negative interactions disrupt the development of cognitive skills. Constant support, shared experiences and time spent together are what help build a child’s brain! Secure attachment is the foundation for lifelong mental and physical well-being.
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How important is the parent/child relationship to brain development and capacities?
Research suggests that parent-child relationships are the key to cognitive training and executive function development (Calderon, 2020) and children’s attention can directly relate to adult behaviors in the immediate context (Parrinello & Ruff, 1988).
Additionally, negative emotion and interactions disorganize attentional processes (Center on the Developing Child Harvard University, 2021, Gaetner, 2008; Kim & Kochanska, 2012). Cognitive skill development can be seriously delayed or impaired and brain architecture disrupted when children do not get what they need from relationships with adults and the conditions of their environment (Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, 2021).
Constant support, shared experiences and time spent together are what helps build the cognitive scaffolding that allows for the development of self-regulation skills and the foundations of executive function (Calderon, 2020).
A study by Kochanska et al. (2001), found that how mothers assist their child during negative emotion challenges predicted the child’s ability to endure the same negative challenge by themselves one year later. Similarly, Gaertner et al., (2008) multimethod study on focused attention in toddlers, showed that maternal praise and positive evaluations of effort, during a task where visual attention was measured, predicted higher levels of observed attention capacities.
The level of positivity in the parent-child relationship is a strong predictor of a child’s self-regulatory skills, executive functioning, attention span, academic achievement and child’s ability to be persistent in day to day tasks.
One’s ability to successfully navigate a challenging task begins in infancy and through early childhood and the relationship with caregivers acts as a key context for reparative interactions during these tasks and this may be the foundation for developing emotional and behavioral regulation skills.
A common theme in developmental literature suggests that for young children, experiencing challenges that include emotions of distress, anxiety or conflict, positive consequences may surface when such experiences are repaired on a consistent basis with a parent that coordinates problem solving techniques and positive interpersonal interactions (Kemp et al., 2016).
Dr. Martin Seligam, a pioneer of positive psychology, explains that parents cannot teach their children without having connections and relationships. According to him, this can be achieved by focusing on human well-being which is a focus on their strengths. Clinical researchers suggest that the real-time, moment-to-moment interactions parents have with their children are the immediate engines of development and these day-to-day direct experiences are the substance out of which antisocial outcomes materialize.
Research supports the correlation between a young child’s poor emotional regulation to externalizing outcomes. Parent-child interactions provide the context for which regulation skills are learned and practiced. Flexibility (being able to shift from one emotional state to another, according to context demands) is a key factor in these interactions for healthy development and allows for negative emotions to also be experienced and recognized.
How can parents help children be successful in challenging situations?
Parents facilitate the development of executive function when they establish routines, model positive social behaviors and create and maintain supportive and reliable relationships.
Spending time together and providing activities that foster creative play and human interaction, social connection, vigorous exercise and teaching children to cope with stress, builds the cognitive scaffolding for increased attentional abilities and emotional and self-regulation.
Physical activities, such as organized sports, can also promote the development of executive function as they require children to carry rules and strategies in their mind and adapt to other’s actions, be mentally flexible, monitor their own behaviors and performance, and increase blood flow to the brain.
Research suggests that mindfulness training and meditation have been shown to improve executive function, as they enhance prefrontal activation, and reduce stress. These mental exercises allow children to bring their attention to the present moment, examine feelings and emotions, identify coping strategies, breathe for calmness and express gratitude and kindness towards self and others.
Parents must better understand the profound significance of their responsibility and impact of nurturing cognitive development, building relationships, providing an environment of growth and teaching children positive ways to deal with stress. While young children may not have the physical capacity to wait longer than a few minutes, parents who focus on what they can do and help them be successful in all situations, allow for relationships to grow and learning capacities to be optimized during times of stress.
For example, when children have personal interest in an activity, their attention span can double in length.
Children also develop improved concentration and attention span when engaged in activities that are age appropriate.
When a child will be experiencing a waiting period, a parent influences executive function development when they explain to the child the situation that they will be experiencing beforehand, and provide an estimate of the duration of the wait. Providing this kind of information reduces uncertainty and uncertainty is what often forecasts a negative experience. When waiting periods are extended beyond what was anticipated, anxiety is intensified. When individuals have information about what is to be expected in a potentially emotional situation, emotional regulation tends to be more effective by decreasing the emotional relevance.
Parents build executive function during waiting when they set appropriate expectations, are clear using specifics, empathize, provide frequent practice and try distractions with games or stimulating activities that involve problem solving, memory, attention cues, motor control or sequencing.
Also, identifying potential stumbling blocks and discussing solutions beforehand, providing exercise and movement, trying activities of physical manipulation while focusing on another task such as fidgets, and providing brain breaks when attention span limits are met, allow children to gain lifelong problem-solving skills.
Attentional deployment strategies (distractions) are an important negative emotion regulator and can help parents relieve the stress of waiting as well.
When children receive a high proportion of effort and strategy praise, they exhibit strong increasing motivational frameworks in desired challenges. In a study conducted by Cole et al. (2009), young children who were able to verbally produce strategies for regulating anger, sadness or other emotions, and had high maternal supportiveness during distress, exhibited higher self-regulatory behaviors. In contrast, when parents were rigid, aggressive, harsh, insensitive or negative in their attempts to prevent or curtail misbehavior that may accompany stress or boredom, detrimental effects such as problem behaviors were shown in children later down the road, along with a smaller range of coping strategies and emotional intelligence when asked to problem solve. This same author suggests that healthy parent-child interactions need to be emotionally flexible and reparative to prevent aggressive childhood behaviors.
Parents can help children be successful in accomplishing stressful tasks, that extend beyond their attention span capabilities by instituting brain breaks.
Brain breaks can be as short as one minute and consist of physical activity that increases blood flow and oxygenation to the brain, thereby boosting neural connectivity and stimulating nerve cell growth in the area of our brain responsible for learning.
Brain breaks provide a reset to attention span and decrease stress, improve productivity and boost brain function. These breaks reset focus using movement and keep the brain healthy, play a key role in cognitive abilities and actually improve attention and memory, as they change the structure of the brain. Brain breaks can reduce disruptive behavior and reset capacities to stay on task and increase effort after waning.
How does consistency in discipline strengthen relationships between parent and child?
Children thrive in predictability.
Having rules and knowing what to expect from parents who are true to their word, gives them a sense of control of their life. Children are able to regulate emotions because they can trust their boundaries and see their parents are reliable figures who will not move the boundaries with threats or inconsistent consequences. This consistency and firm boundaries allow a child to feel safe, secure, confident and create a relationship of trust between child and parent. Clear limits and consequences are crucial to children developing emotional wellbeing because they can depend on outcomes that never change.
When parents use warmth, kindness, patience, responsiveness and optimism in their discipline, an emotional bond is created thus providing parents with an increased influence on children when discipline is required. Studies show a link between parental responsiveness and a child’s emotional intelligence.
Negative interactions disrupt attentional processes as well as affect a child’s nervous system. It’s important that parents do not ignore disobedience and have clear consequences for disobedience. However, remember that a child’s feelings are not disobedience but the misbehavior is. Listening to a child and seeking to understand their words and feelings builds emotional health. Children who cannot depend on a parent’s word and consistency to that word, learn to distrust, lose respect and feel confused.
So, when child is misbehaving and a parent gives a consequence, it is crucial that consequence is one the parent can live with and is willing to carry out, otherwise it becomes a threat and children quickly learn that the parent cannot be trusted to keep their word therefore causing emotional distance between parent and child.
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